This topic has been coming up lately for me so I thought I would shed some light on it and if you have a similar story I would love to hear about it.I told this story a couple years ago on Facebook and thought I would expand it and share it again because I now work with and coach individuals to overcome these same issues . Do you ever wonder why you are the way you are? Why you strongly believe the things you do, either consciously or subconsciously. Why you are afraid of the things you are afraid of?I remember growing up, my dad, a successful and proud car salesman, was continuously worried about money and saving for his future. Being in sales always has an element of uncertainty and fear when you work for commission. He was a very hard worker with high values on being a good employee. He liked his job but constantly lived in fear of financial security. When sales were good he loved to invest his money and loved to talk about its growth. We lived in a quite moderate household, but we had what needed. I remember when things would break down or need replacing, he would sometimes go for the least expensive or just not replace it at all, if he could find a reason not to. I remember one time, our kitchen table and chair broke so he just brought in the patio set lol. As children, when we see our parents struggle or live in fear, we take on that fear. We receive that message that life is unsafe. My father inherited this belief from his father. I remember stories he told me about having a job at age 7 to help the family. As an adult, I have always put high standards on working and prioritizing my money. I too have lived in fear of financial security. So, I went and got the most secure job I could find, in Government. If you have ever worked for Government you will understand what I mean 😊 I worked there for 18 years in Social Services. I climbed the ladder, worked in every department trying to find some passion or at least contentment. Since I knew I was there for the lon haul, I had better find something I liked right? From front line working with people on Welfare, to being an Investigator, to Learning and Development of staff, Family Maintenance, Finance Manager, Performance Analyst, and that’s not even all them. Every time I changed positions was a huge learning curve not to mention the extreme competency panel I had to go through to get each one. Sounds like an exciting time, and it was sometimes but I eventually reached a place where I could no longer grow and expand and I became very miserable, bored and stuck in my career and life. I had never felt to unfulfilled and uninspired. I was only 40 and all I could see ahead of me was 15-20 more years of this stagnation.
My husband Andrew, saw my situation much differently. He sat me down and told me if I wanted to find happiness I needed to find another job, something I love. Quit my job? Are you kidding?. What about my pension and my benefits? What if I dont find another job? I don't have transferable skills. In my mind I thought the worst. What if I lose everything? He said change can be scary but also very exciting which is how he became so successful in business. Let change is the catalyst for new opportunities, he said. Embrace it!
After a lot of support and reprogramming of this belief that I’m not good enough, or smart enough, I decided to do it, to make the shift. “Fine, I’ll quit my job” I said. I didn’t sleep much that night. The next morning, as I was walking out the door my husband said, Ok, so what are you going to do today?” And in a child like drone I whimpered. “I’m gonna quit my job”. I ended up quitting my job without having another to go and it was the scariest thing I had ever done but oh my god, so liberating at the same time.
Today, I’m now doing what I love which by the way was not how I had planned it at all. If you would’ve asked me then I had no idea that I would eventually on a gym and a yoga studio and coaching people, helping them learn to heal themselves and reprogram they own belief systems collected throughout childhood. Our belief systems are programs. Just like computers need debugging, updating so do our internal programming. Otherwise we are operating on old information, old beliefs.
So he next time something is holding you back in life, career, relationships, or you find yourself clinging to safety and security, stop and think about why. When did you first learn this belief and from who? What was your childhood like? What were your parents, grandparents, and teachers beliefs around this situation?
The stories we are told as children become our inner voice. It is not real or necessarily true. Think about this the next time your child ask a question. This may be the answer they seek later in life 🙂
"It's easier to build strong children than to repair broken adults." - F. douglas
Do you have a belief that needs clearing ?